Go All Out!

I'm a happy-go-lucky girl, ha!
The results arent really good but I relief it finally came to the end.
Waiting is hurts, really.

So I'm happy with what I got, seriously.
Some reason is I was expecting worst.
But then,
someone was really mad and sad and upset, .....
for me? Wait, am I emotionless?

It was mine.
My name had written on it and to be exact, there's none of yours
I accepted what has given to me, right after I took a peek.
And you,
I think until now, like, about a week already,
you seem not accepting it, still.

You put the blame on me but you dont know, half of it was yours.
You said I didnt try it good enough.
You said I didnt go serious, at that time.
But actually,
I prayed to have something that makes you gave up on me having something I REALLY dont want.
And I got what I want.
There go another reason.

Then, I took a look at it again, seriously this time.
Oh, I didnt get THAT bad, really. A is the first alphabet, that's all, nothing really important.
Some teachers did say something like that too,
that makes me feel better after those devils's words, thank you :')
And a sister said,
"Maybe that person said that because of your past results"
Yes, indeed. Finally someone understand that :')

The story hasnt finished yet.
I finally told half of the truth what I really interested to.
And here,
"That thing isnt worth it. You wouldnt get a job for that."
"You take this and this and this, arrange them in what I ordered. The thing you want, put it at number three."

You understand that?
No? Then allow me to translate.
"Ones that I want you to be, ones that make you got MONEY = rich is waaaaaay more important than whatever you interested to."

I am giving up to deal with this mind-manipulator.
Even the leader supports whatever I want.
And this person, you, are saying whatever you want.

Despair.
Despair.
Despair.

Let's just do what she wants and leave it all to Allah

Typical

You may think it's typical.
Well, it is typical.
And it happened to me.
I'm writing this because I've had enough.

Teachers, counselors, some adults
said,
"Do what you wanna do. You don't have to be what your parents, family want you to be."

Me,
"Easy to talk."

I was half-joked,
"Mom, what'll you say if I SUDDENLY choose Islamic studies?"

"Please don't."
"Just marry a guy with that."

What...............
(Well, I do gave it a little thought,)
why can't I have the knowledge
that, of course, good?
Why should I have someone who has it
while I can have it?
(Not that I REALLY can because results aren't here yet but at least I have the thought)

I was taking it easy.
I thought once I talk, they will understand.
Guess not.
Now, I should just hoping for the results.
Dont be surprise if I'm hoping for something that is not really good.

Dear readers,
I know this is too public.
I know, nothing will happen even if I write this,
like, who cares?
But please,
never talk to me about what I've write.
You read but you don't have the right to talk to me about this.
I don't need it.