There was this talk

About how we handle our future plans.
One said they've been achieving their dreams according to their plans.
One said they shouldn't say their plans out loud to achieve them.
While me, I dont really have future plans nor dream.
And it got me thinking.

It had been a dream of mine to own a spacious room,
until I was chased out,
until I realized the feeling of not belong to it.

It was a dream of mine to have a room arranged the way I want,
but it was shattered.

It was arranged that I would go to the medical route for the reason of a kid's word.
I'm not gonna lie I did think about it,
except no one's ever told me what I should be doing.
It was neglected, I rebel against it.
Well, it's fine, I guess?

I tried arranging leaving this cage.
It was only 60% serious,
but I got "Why did you find somewhere so far?"
and I got laugh at.

They keep on saying,
"you decide on it",
but when I say what I want,
it got cut off for whatever lame reasons.

Now, when the steps are getting closer to the threshold,
I'm getting anxiety,
I'm getting lost.

I got out,
looking at people walking,
kids going home,
I question my life.

I'm confused.
Who was it.
When will this end.

Hey

Hey you.
Yes you.

Remember your dark days?
Remember the starting days?
Remember the reasons why?

You've been hiding it with your joy.
You've been hiding it by blaming others.
You've been hiding it by pretending you're on the good side.

You think you were fun?
You think by going silent everyone remembers you?
You think someone would ever worried of you?

No.
No one talked about you.
No one remembered you.
They've been talking about one thing you actually good at,
but you're like a non-existent.

You're anxious when hearing they were close.
You think someone would peek on you.
No.
You're a non-existent.

Remember one day in a certain class?
You thought people who's been committing such open crime were those who have less presence
and you thought you could probably be one.
That would be right.

Even if you die right now no one would know.