aaaaaaaaagh

"I say I'll support, but my toxicity says it only works mutually"
while I was reconsidering my toxicity, jealousy and envy towards just anyone,
trying to lessen my toxicity,
they really did it, huh?
The one thing that I really hate people do to me;
the people who call ourselves, even include me, as "us",
do things themselves without ME knowing.
i dont know, right now i really cant rarionalize,
if this is normal or abnormal or I'm being annoying,
but it's just one of my complex since forever.
If you're going to do things by yourselves, then dont include me.
Im fine being alone. Im fine having JUST friends.
I hate being in a so-called group, end up being left out,
not even bother to let me know.

How many times has it been?
I'm tired.
I'm tired trying to figure out why.
I'm tired blaming myself.
Why does it feel like anyone else had it good?
Why does it look like everyone has at least someone they can rely to?
Is it really my fault?
Do I have personality problem?