Saturday 6 July 2019

To you

One of my closest,
one of whom acknowledge my "honesty",
one that consider that honesty was one that helped you,
one who increased my confidence to make that as my character.

Because of how we knew each other a bit longer and closer than anyone else,
because of how we got to be in-contact when everyone was busy dealing their things,
because of how you described me as "a place" you looked for,
I forgot everything,
I told myself you were a treasure.

Yes, you are still one of my important people.
But you're also one of whom hurt me a lot.
It's probably because of how over-sensitive I am,
but it's probably because of how over-insensitive you are,
and most of all, it's probably because of how I didnt want to act like one for the sake of not burdening you.

How much I told myself not to get attached,
but at the same time how much I told myself I should show my love,
I ended up getting a lot of my hopes up.

As much as I considered I needed you,
as much as I considered we were in things together,
you went off somewhere.
Yes probably because of my incompetence while you're adventerous.
You have dreams,
you have places you want to go.
I told myself to let you fly,
that I shouldnt be the one sealing you,
I mean, who am I, right?

But those what hurt me.

As much I dont want to blame you,
I ended up hurting myself.

The more I think like these,
the more unattached I am,
the more distant I am,
the more I hate everyone,
the more I hate myself.

See, I thought of writing this to sort out my hatred towards you, but I ended up blaming myself again.