Thursday 20 November 2014

Sayonara, Science..

Topic says it all.
But that's not why I'm here.

We did something...
Nah, not going to say it.
Anyway, it is something that is not wrong,
not bothering anyone.
It is just on our side, that can be gone in no time.

And then...
This cleaner told us,...
"Dik, boleh tak jangan buat lagi macam ni? Penat makcik nak kene bersihkan ni.."
(which, if I translate sounded like this:
"Dear, can you not do this again? You're just tiring me to clean this up"
Wow, direct translate but sounded too wrong)

So here's my issue.
Like I said before, it's on our side,
and it's not even dirty.
You are just tiring yourself.
Why are you doing that?
Oh wait, you're cleaner, yeah.
But then, why did you say so?
And if you did say that,
why don't you say these too?

- "Can you step inside the toilet after you clean your slipper?"
- "Can you not do anything inside the toilet? 'cause you're tiring me to clean them."
- "Can you not throw rubbish inside the trash can? 'cause you're tiring me to throw them outside."
- "Can you do your 'emergencies' anywhere but toilet? You're tiring me to clean the mess."

Wait. Then they can lead to:
- "Can you clean them yourself? I'm tired."

Yeah, of course.

I'm doing this not because I hate her,
but I feel it is unnecessary to say that.
And we're obviously did no wrong. (but she doesnt know)

I'm not a coward nor a chicken,
but it can be not just this cleaner do this but other cleaners as well.

I'm not insulting any cleaners and not to the job too,
it is really a useful job because if they aren't here, everything will be messed up,
but why's with that dialogue?

Ah, I really want to say right on her face,
but Malay people always thinks wrong.
Tegur = Kurang ajar
Orang muda = Budak kecik

Saturday 19 July 2014

LEM0620

Heyya!
It's been half a year we ended our school life.
Yes, half a year.
I'm surprised too.

Here,
I'm feeling left out.
Like far from most of us are feeling now.
Well, it's inherited, I have a really negative thoughts.
Since it's like that, I don't think I have to tell everything about that,
'cause if I do, I don't know when will I done typing.

Anyway,
because of that,
because of someone keeps telling me,
"You should redo what you didn't get,"
Now I feel like I'm a real failure.
Like,
can I really do this?
Since I got THAT and THOSE,
THAT and THOSE which that someone said (says) fail results.

I don't remember how I study before.
If any I remembered,
I only think any method I used
has failed.

So there,
I hope I improved my English,
or at least didn't get worst from before.

Tuesday 20 May 2014

Well

"Kotoba ni suru to chotto hazukashii kedo,
honto ni deaete yokatta to omotteru yo"
- UVERworld (credit: Safwah)

I was reading a manga about two best friends,
their friendship loosen up when about graduation.

Well, it's nothing like that,
but somehow,
I feel....

Wednesday 2 April 2014

hm

Friends from elementary school...
A friend until middle school...

Most of them,
now,
are still my friends,
though we became a bit awkward to communicate than what we used to be.
Luckily, some... most of them are friendly, so I just contacted them normally.

That time,
after we separated, I had this what-if feelings to contact them.
I hate these feelings.
It felt like a betrayer.
Some times ago, we were laughing real hard,
and here I am, feeling doubtful to even greet them.

And that's why I try to keep us alive.
Trying to connect each of us to each other.
There's not much time left.
In just some months, this group will surely die.

But then,
if this app can count how much of our sent conversation,
I guess I'm the winner.

Not just some months,
I think in just weeks, we will die.

So,
I guess,
this is farewell.

Monday 24 March 2014

Go All Out!

I'm a happy-go-lucky girl, ha!
The results arent really good but I relief it finally came to the end.
Waiting is hurts, really.

So I'm happy with what I got, seriously.
Some reason is I was expecting worst.
But then,
someone was really mad and sad and upset, .....
for me? Wait, am I emotionless?

It was mine.
My name had written on it and to be exact, there's none of yours
I accepted what has given to me, right after I took a peek.
And you,
I think until now, like, about a week already,
you seem not accepting it, still.

You put the blame on me but you dont know, half of it was yours.
You said I didnt try it good enough.
You said I didnt go serious, at that time.
But actually,
I prayed to have something that makes you gave up on me having something I REALLY dont want.
And I got what I want.
There go another reason.

Then, I took a look at it again, seriously this time.
Oh, I didnt get THAT bad, really. A is the first alphabet, that's all, nothing really important.
Some teachers did say something like that too,
that makes me feel better after those devils's words, thank you :')
And a sister said,
"Maybe that person said that because of your past results"
Yes, indeed. Finally someone understand that :')

The story hasnt finished yet.
I finally told half of the truth what I really interested to.
And here,
"That thing isnt worth it. You wouldnt get a job for that."
"You take this and this and this, arrange them in what I ordered. The thing you want, put it at number three."

You understand that?
No? Then allow me to translate.
"Ones that I want you to be, ones that make you got MONEY = rich is waaaaaay more important than whatever you interested to."

I am giving up to deal with this mind-manipulator.
Even the leader supports whatever I want.
And this person, you, are saying whatever you want.

Despair.
Despair.
Despair.

Let's just do what she wants and leave it all to Allah

Thursday 13 February 2014

Typical

You may think it's typical.
Well, it is typical.
And it happened to me.
I'm writing this because I've had enough.

Teachers, counselors, some adults
said,
"Do what you wanna do. You don't have to be what your parents, family want you to be."

Me,
"Easy to talk."

I was half-joked,
"Mom, what'll you say if I SUDDENLY choose Islamic studies?"

"Please don't."
"Just marry a guy with that."

What...............
(Well, I do gave it a little thought,)
why can't I have the knowledge
that, of course, good?
Why should I have someone who has it
while I can have it?
(Not that I REALLY can because results aren't here yet but at least I have the thought)

I was taking it easy.
I thought once I talk, they will understand.
Guess not.
Now, I should just hoping for the results.
Dont be surprise if I'm hoping for something that is not really good.

Dear readers,
I know this is too public.
I know, nothing will happen even if I write this,
like, who cares?
But please,
never talk to me about what I've write.
You read but you don't have the right to talk to me about this.
I don't need it.

Sunday 9 February 2014

Stfu

Deep breath.
Okay, this is really, really,
I should really not trust anyone.

Especially the family.

What a public thing to say.

And an 18+ thing to say

Tuesday 21 January 2014

It comes!

So I said,
I'm not yet having those feelings.
School just ended,
and this school is a special kind.
Once you graduated, you still have the connection.

But it's starting.
Oh no.

And I'm declaring.
Oh no.

Sunday 12 January 2014

Will You Ask Questions When You Really Want to Know the Answer?

We were going to a public program about our interest (but we don't).
We discussed online as we don't meet.
But then there was a time to meet,
so we continued our discussion on whether to go or not.
So, like, any person nearby will caught up what we were talking about.
And asked,
"What're you talking about?"
"Where're you going?"

So, what would you expect us to answer?
Of course, we'll say
"To a program which teach us of (our interest)"

Well, some of them, I know, would reply on our answer,
"I see"
or something.

But, I know, some of them would
"Well, like I care"
"Doesn't matter to me"
"Oh. Whatever"

Like,
what the hell?
You were asking,
we answered,
and you replied like we were DESPERATELY WANNA TELL YOU?!

So then, I took a decision to
- answer a friend with
"Well, I know you wouldn't care but I'll eventually tell you,........."

- ignore

- half-answer

- answer then ignore

Done.
Farewell.