Friday 20 December 2013

My Opinion, My Opinion, My Opinion...

Ini hanya pendapat saya shj,
saya bukan cuba utk tarik org utk setuju.

Ramai bg nasihat/tegur...
"Kenapa nk kena letak gambar sendiri utk prof. pic.?"
"Tak elok la letak gambar sendiri"
"Boleh bawa fitnah" (?)
dsb. Aku tak ingat

Seriously,
dont just say without even think.

Ada beberapa orang yg letak sbb ada tujuan tertentu.
Mungkin ada yg letak sbg tanda persahabatan.
Mungkin juga ada yg letak utk bg orang kenal dia bila dia add orang.
dsb, aku tak tahu.

Tp still,
fine,
letak gambar selca memang x boleh terima la.
Lagi-lagi zaman sekarang yg kebanyakan manusia dah lupa diri,
nak sangat jadi itik, ikan buntal, burung, dsb.
Yg tu, betapa panjang aku fikir pun aku tak dapat penyelesaian jawapan yg logik
melainkan:
"Aku comel. Semua orang kena tengok muka comel aku"
Yeah.

So, kesimpulannya...
aku sungguh tidak berpuas hati kpd mereka yg perkecilkan sangat dgn org yg letak gambar sendiri dkt segala account social network.
Kau cuba fahamkan sikit apa orang rasa, boleh tak.

Sekian.

Wednesday 18 December 2013

Mouse mcm ****, menyampah betul aku

Saw the pics,
look like the guys were having fun, even though it was a hot day.

But
why,
why,
why?
did I felt so awful, restless and upsetting?
*Not I, but we.

I got the answer, though.

We were really chased the time.
I mean, REALLY.
That we forgot to teamwork.

It's not like
"if we dont chase the time, we'll fail"
but
"if we work as a team, insyaAllah, Allah will help us".

Plus, if we do fail,
nothing's gonna happen la.

Just,
why didn't we just have fun at that time?
Why did a person felt so hopeless
and a person felt so responsible
and a person felt left out
and a person almost gave up
and a person just keep on walking?

I remember,
watching others,
they looked so happy
and guided each other.

And there's,
I know her,
I dont remember much why do I know her,
but I know,
she's a person with
"Remember, we do this to have fun. It's ok if we dont win!"
I like her for this.

I dont blame anyone.
I blame myself.
I dont know what to blame myself
but I hated myself.

Though,
I dont think any of them kept on walking even everyone were already running.
Lets try to look in another view,
it was like
everyone's leaving you behind and you keep thinking "I've been left out" but you dont move on, never.
That,
I do blame you.

That's it.
I'm sorry,
so sorry,
I cant ignore things in my mind until I confess.

And sorry for everything.

nigahiga

- Tadi aku jalan2, lepas tu aku jumpa xxx dan yyy so aku pun &#*$&#*@$! dan dia pun x+y = 100% f(x): x+1 jadi aku pun ......

- Tak faham. Apa maksudnya?

- Alaa, faham faham je la.

Whadahel?
Bajet macam orang boleh faham?
Kau ingat semua orang ada otak kau ke apa?
Dah tu apa motif post semua kod bagai,
kalau nak suruh orang 'faham faham je la',
kalau taknak terangkan bila orang tak 'faham faham je la'?!!

MAPOTI
MAPOTI
MAPOTI
MAPOTI


Monday 16 December 2013

BM + BI

Sambil menunggu download yg masyaAllah-nya lama,
aku pun membelek post lama blog ini.

As the time goes,
aku tak faham apa yg aku pernah tulis.
Punyalah berahsia.
Baca punya baca, baru ingat apa situasi di sebaliknya.

So bila tengok first post,
wow,
it's been a year.

Teringat antara motif menubuhkan blog ini.
- Menjauhi drpd orang yg sensitif
dan nampaknya mereka dah stalk aku dah pun.
Masih ada flashback dlm kepala aku,

dengan bangganya dia cakap:
"I'm reading your blog! ^.^ "

(Sht! I was talking about you there, dont read!)
"Stop reading. It's not for you to read."

Rasanya memang mereka akan bukak blog ni sesedap hati.

Jadi bila fikir balik,
lantak kau lah.
Aku cakap dgn berfikir kau tak baca
tapi kalau kau memang baca
dan terasa,
jangan salahkan aku.
Siapa suruh kau bukak?
Aku tak pernah promote blog ni dkt kau,
sekian.

Kalau dulu,
mungkin aku suka fikir
"Harap kau terasa baca ni, muehehe"
Sekarang bukan lagi.

Sekarang:
"Aku nak menyuarakan isi hati dan perut dan ada orang baca dan faham tapi tak perasan lepas tu melawan, bajet nak takutkan aku."

Aku sudah semakin dewasa.
Wahaha.
Hei, lagi 2 bulan!

Friday 13 December 2013

Geli

SPM dah habis.
Ya, SPM dah habis.
So semua org pun nak cakap psl
KAHWIN

Seriously?
Ya, ya, fine...
Sekarang, ramai org kahwin awal.
Kahwin awal bkn suatu masalah.
Rasulullah menggalakkan org kahwin utk elak maksiat.
Bercinta lepas kahwin bkn suatu masalah.
Lagi apa,
ayat tipikal org guna utk nak kahwin awal.

Well, aku pun bukan la anti kahwin awal pun
Tapi....
tapi.
Kau jangan pandang kahwin tu suatu perkara mudah boleh tak.

Kau (lelaki) seolah-olah memegang tanggungjawab ayah si perempuan.
Kalau dulu, ayah yg kena jaga anak perempuan,
dosa yg dibuat anak perempuan dipegang oleh ayah.
Anak perempuan nak pergi mana-mana, nak buat apa-apa,
semuanya tanggungjawab ayah.
Dan kau, lelaki.
Bila perempuan itu berkahwin,
kau la pulak yg kena jaga semua tu.
Ingat senang?
Kalau dapat perempuan sensitif, cerewet, banyak songeh,
kau sanggup layan?
Kalau tak layan, apa dia akan buat? Kau pun tak pasti.
Duit lagi...
Mana kau nak carik duit?
Mintak mak bapak?
Pinjam dr mak bapak?
Kau tu lelaki, kerja carik duit utk keluarga,
isteri, anak-anak, mak, ayah.
Bukan mintak mak ayah duit.
Stress sangat, lepas tu tiba-tiba TERlafazkan benda itu.
Susah kan.
Susah kan.
Serious, susah.
Kau pulak dgn bahagia nak melamar bagai.

Masalahnya bukan kahwin.
Ya, kahwin bukan masalah.
Tapi kau kena ada akal.
Kalau belum 18 tahun pun lagi, baru lepas SPM,
dah fikir psl kahwin, kahwin dan kahwin,
itu namanya belum cukup matang.
Lepas SPM kau mmg nak terus kahwin?
Taknak sambung belajar?

Dan perempuan....
Ok, aku malas nak cakap.
Setakat ni, aku tak dengar lagi perempuan lepas SPM yg mengada fikir psl kahwin dgn serius.
Ada tapi...
Well, perempuan bukan ketua keluarga,
bukan perempuan yg kena tentukan kahwin awal,
at least, keluarga.
So,......

Apa pun,
wahai lelaki yg baru nak matang yg fikir dah cukup dewasa padahal baru lepasan SPM,
sedarlah.
Kau bagaikan mangga hijau yg tak matang lagi, masam pulak tu.
Sedar diri sikit.

*Bajet gila aku ckp psl kahwin. Tapi itu kenyataan, kan?*

Tuesday 10 December 2013

Hey

Today's weather is nice
(this is so sudden, though it was raining heavily on the evening)

Okay, so the school has just ended.
I mean,
END.
We graduated.
Literally though, we don't yet have our result
and our 'graduation ceremony' held after our exam
but we still have our very last school programme about 3 days later.

It's not like I'm going to typically talk about the graduation and friends and school and so,
but trustfully, I do appreciate these two years, 2012 and 2013.
Those senior years.
I don't really want to list all of them 'cause I might miss some or some people might feel sad or whatever.

But still,
I feel grateful that I have our picture of groups taken.

And now,
we are on our way to adulthood.

To my batch,
Nineteenth96,
good luck,
see you soon.

Friday 20 September 2013

Selfish

Kita tak boleh menganggap semua orang mengikut gaya hidup seperti kita.
Kita tak boleh menganggap semua orang berfikir seperti kita.

Kalau kita nak orang ikut cara pandangan kita,
kita kena ikut pandangan orang dulu.
Kerjasama.
Bukan mengharap orang ikut kita.

Friday 16 August 2013

To Be Truth

I really hate people who think they know me but actually don't.
Like, yesterday,

They've received their 'gift' but I haven't yet (because I felt awkward)
so when she asked "Who doesn't have yet?", I raised my hand, as long with a friend
and I heard (some people but clearly) someone said, "Don't lie"
so she didn't see me.

I don't actually care about the 'gift'.
But I care
someone who should've known when will I being serious or not
think I'm always, ALWAYS playing around.






Truthfully,
since then,
I lost my mood,
little by little.

Saturday 3 August 2013

20

Even though they're the opposite gender,
Even though they're people I never care of,
They're still people I know.
They're still from the same batch,
which we always wanted to unite in every special occasion.

I just can't believe they will gone.
Some of them are from the same class,
some of them are the people I watch.

And that's what I imagine that night.
And that's why tears dropped.

Seriously, 20
and above.

Friday 26 July 2013

Sunday 16 June 2013

a, b, c,... l, n, o, q, r, t, u,... z

SPM? What the hell is that?
Lol.

I'm scanning now.
Scanning my comic.
Why?
Someone asked me to do so, since we barely had the chance to make her read.

So tired that I know I really should edit the scans.
And my back is hurt right now,
how old am I, you see?!

The title,
there are 3 letters missing.
Can you help me find it?




Nah, I'm sure you can't.

Thursday 30 May 2013

No Joke

Our female cat adopted kittens.
Seriously.
No joke.

She's a white-striped black female cat.
Once, she had kittens on her own
but, as usual, dead.

Month later, another of our female cat, orange colored,
gave birth for 2 kittens.
She cared for her kittens until they can walk.

Then, suddenly dad said
that white-striped blackie lift one of the kittens
and sit with it closely and lick it,
like mother of cats would do
but the kitten is not hers.
So the kitten was confused and get away from her.

For all I know, dad said
she became, what we said, "Ibu Susuan"
for the both kittens.
The real mother was like, got nothing to do when her kittens had another mom.

Weird, right?
I thought so, too.
It's like a new phenomenon.
Cats act like human, even in child care.

Seriously!
No joke!

Saturday 25 May 2013

It's Been Awhile

So.... uhh... since the school holiday has started, I must post something or else someone's gonna scold me. lol

Well, I was thinking of vlogging.
Yeah, I know I'm not the sort of talking-to-camera people.
But I think I should do one or two...
But then, just you wait... If I'm not that lazy to wear some suitable outfit or talk to myself in an empty room.
Yeah, wait.

Ok, here I go.
Something I want to confess.

It happened some months ago.
When my recent mind-condition that time was so much of low self-esteem,
but now too.

I saw a friend, which we grow older together [wait, how old was I again?]
do something that once upon a time I think is impossible for me and any of my known friends to do.

So I was like...
*WHITE EYES* [I know I can do better by attaching some pics but am too lazy to capture through phone which is upstairs, recharging]
"I don't know her... I don't know her anymore"
"Even she... is changing"
"Who am I?"
Yeah, yeah, can't I have any lower self-esteem?

But that's the truth.
I don't know what to do.
I don't know whose fault.
I don't know where did I do wrong.
I don't know.

All I know,
I should find myself and just forget about these low self-esteem things.
Should forget.
Forget.
And it came.

So I spend a night or two thinking of these things
and put the blame on me
like
"Where did I do wrong?"
Well, I actually hate that question,
like, of course, everything you do IS WRONG and why are you still haven't realize that?!

So the nights were just to calm my mind.
And that is.

Now, I still haven't had any idea to settle these problems
but I'm going to play game now.
Goodbye.

Till I upload a vlog, just you wait.
Wait, I'm still going to blog even before started the vlog.

Tuesday 30 April 2013

sighsighsighsigh

Why am I sighing?
I should be proud of my presence.
Like when a teacher will never call me to answer questions.

*****

Saya mcm excited pabila ada suatu topik,
kemudian saya pandang kawan saya,
dia menyambut pandangan saya
sambil kedua pandangan membawa maksud yg hanya kami faham.

Ia memberikan suatu ikatan yg kuat antara kami.
Ok, aku ni dah kenapa?
Jadi, itu sajalah yg ingin dikongsikan kali ini.

Download patch dah siap.
Nak main yeah!
Dan lagi 7 hari aka seminggu Periksa Pertengahan Tahun bermula.
Sh!
Why?!!

Friday 26 April 2013

. . . Downloading . . .

So then, as I promised,
here I am,
updating my blog.
A friend keep complaining of my unactivated blog
and told me to update
with
BM.
Oops.

. . . . .
Translating
. . . . .

Ok, jadi saya dah lama tak update kerana
minggu yg sibuk
dan
tahun yg sibuk
ARGH
Kalau boleh, mmg saya tak nak ingat langsung tentang kenyataan yg perlu dihadapi pd 2013!
Apa?

SPM

Mula bulan ni, April,
Isnin: Tuisyen (sendiri) - Addmath
Selasa: Tuisyen (sendiri) - Bio [hari yg paling tak nak ingat]
Rabu: Tuisyen (sekolah) - Bio
Khamis: Tuisyen (sekolah) - Matematik Tambahan
Jumaat: Tuisyen (sekolah) - Fizik/Kimia
Sabtu: Kadang2 ada syabab
Ahad: Bengkel
dan ulang lagi.

Ramai *sangat* org tanya,
"Bila free?"
Maka, tak dpt la saya jawab.

Tapi
lepas tu...
mereka pun mendesak saya utk jawab.
Yeah, terbaik.
Memanglah sangat mementingkan diri.
Jadi saya terpaksa la ponteng sekolah punya kelas, maaf cikgu.
Maklumlah, saya dikawal ketat oleh penjaga (Hey, dpt pahala. Jgn salahkan mereka)
Kemudian, terdapat juga 'mereka'.
Di mana memandang rendah kpd organisasi yg saya join
dan memaksa saya utk melepaskan tanggungjawab.
"Hmmmmm~" itu je lah jawapan saya.
Nak ckp apa?
Bantah tak akan didengar.
Setuju rasa bersalah.

Dan seriously,
tiada siapa ingin mendengar.

Walau bagaimana pun,
sejak... entah,
saya mmg berazam utk *kurangkan* penggunaan komputer.
Jd sbb itu saya tak update.

Dan alasan lain,
saya tiada idea.
Lagi-lagi bila tgk org lain pun tak update.
Maka hilanglah segala idea yg pernah dibuat pekasam.

Blank
Blank
Blank

Rasanya saya bencikan kehidupan sibuk yg dipaksa ini.
Saya benci juga dgn 3 huruf itu.
Dan jika saya ingin meluahkan, sekurang-kurangnya hanya meluahkan, bukan memberontak,
pihak sana akan menegur luahan hati ini.
Hei, saya berdendam, bukan berperang.
Saya benci perkara itu, saya tetap buat.
Saya tak perlukan teguran, saya hanya perlukan pendengar.

Ok, dah.
Blog ini bukan sepatutnya tempat utk saya luahkan.
Tapi malangnya,
saya taip dan taip dan taip
muka seorang makhluk sahaja yg terbayang.
Dan ketahuilah, post ini post benci.

Jadi, hari ini, malam ini,
saya ingin melepaskan geram dan gian
dan berhibur sampai lewat.
Muahahaha.

p/s, sbb tu saya x suka BM. Ayat dlm otak sentiasa pedasss

Saturday 23 February 2013

Cool

I was eagerly wanted to watch videos from a favorite band of mine.
They privately published their live videos from being watch by countries other than theirs.
Then I got a plan.

I play an MMORPG game which has numbers of servers from countries.
I got a trick to play from a country which tracks IP addresses,
to download a program which hides our IP address.

Then, that was my plan.
Watch the videos by hide my IP address using the program.
But I failed.
I don't know why.
I tried to test the program by open a tracking-IP website.
They said I'm from U.S, so maybe, maybe that's the answer.

But, here I go, the real purpose I'm typing this.
That website...
It was suddenly spammed and spawned non-stop.
One by one IE (just the main one, not the one I'm using) came out on my screen.
Computer became stuck.
I was like O_O uhh...........
Then I pressed ALT + Ctrl + Delete,
no reaction.
Pressed again.
Still no.
Again and again,
no.
I was OvO" UHH........
and was about to press reset button on CPU,
but pulled my hand back.
The mouse cursor worked nicely so I think I should wait for minutes, from experiences playing that lagging MMORPG.
I was calmly clicked 'X' one by one of those IEs.
Then, Window Task Manager-s came out
but numbers of IEs still increased greatly.
I tried to find IE on the processes tab,
but was scared of virus, I went to applications tab to end the task of IEs,
but still, they couldn't shut down all in one click.
So, I, still calmly, went back to the processes tab and find something should be end processed
and found 'IE'.
Clicked the 'End Process' button, and
*POOF*
they gone.
Phewwwwww...
I thought my *dear* computer will be infected by virus(es) *again*.

So then, to make my long story short,
we should stay calm on whatever types and numbers of burdens or problems and solve them carefully.

The End.

Friday 8 February 2013

Katak bawah Tempurung Kepala

Mereka yg orang selalu panggil
'Budak Alim' (dari segi istilah ialah org yg sentiasa berjuang utk Islam dan berdakwah kpd generasi2 baru - dari segi bahasa ialah org yg berilmu - entah dr mana dtgnya istilah itu)

kebanyakan antara mereka,
sorry to say,
close-minded.
Bukanlah saya mengecilkan atau apa.
Tetapi...
ya, inilah yg saya mahu menasihatkan.

Close-minded atau peribahasa melayu
Katak di bawah Tempurung,
membawa maksud *lebih kurang*
tak mahu mengetahui dunia luar.

Ok, nak senang,
pabila berbicara tentang (paling senang) budaya KPop,
mereka mulalah mencebik dan memberi pandangan merendahkan mereka yg sedang berbicara.
Mengapa?
Teruk sangatkah KPop?
Ya, memang teruk pun, apabila melampaui batas.
Tapi orang yg sedang berbicara itu tidak teruk.
Apalah salahnya kita mendengar dgn penuh minat dan cuba menguasai ilmu budaya luar?

Faedah yg akan diperoleh ialah:
- Membandingkan budaya Islam dan budaya luar, seterusnya memberi pengajaran kpd generasi lain.
- Mendekatkan lagi diri dgn generasi lain dengan mengetahui minat mereka, maka mudahlah mereka mendengar ilmu yg dikongsi.
- dll

Jika tidak, jika kita masih mematuhi budaya mencebik dan adab sbg seorang Muslim perlu menjauhi maksiat,
bukan sahaja
- Islam akan jatuh (nauzubillah) kerana tidak mengajak orang lain menjauhi kemungkaran,
bahkan
- maruah Islam juga mampu jatuh kerana orang luar, mungkin sekali orang Islam yg kurang ilmu akan memandang rendah kpd kita kerana kita tidak mengikut trend (kata mereka) dan seterusnya mereka sendiri tidak mahu mendekati kita, apatah lagi mendekati Islam.

Jadi, marilah kita membuka tempurung kita di samping berlindung di sebaliknya,
atau dgn erti lain,
mula mempelajari tentang budaya luar di samping berperisaikan ilmu, iman, dan Allah.
katak di sebalik tempurung

Cara utk menguasai budaya luar tanpa melangkaui batas yg memungkinkan terhakisnya iman (nauzubillah) ialah:
- Mencari mana salahnya budaya tersebut
- Mencari mana kebaikan yg perlu ditapis utk dipraktikkan generasi baru
- dll

Sedangkan Raihan juga berkata,
"Berhibur tiada salahnya kerana hiburan itu indah,"
semua perkara tiada salahnya. Yang salah terletak pd penerimaan seseorang, sama ada kurang, normal, atau pun berlebihan.

Kesimpulannya,
fikir-fikirkanlah.
Saya tak suka terdengar penerimaan org terhadap Islam yang sebenar.
Saya tak suka org Islam sendiri memperlekehkan Islam yang sebenar.
Bagaimana saya boleh terdengar? Kerana mereka berada betul-betul di sekeliling saya.

Baiklah. Itu sahaja.
Post yg jarang sekali saya kemukakan.
Yg baik datang drpd Allah, terutamanya ilham saya ini,
dan yg jahat dtg drpd kamu HAHA (- ust. Aziz)
jk, drpd katak yg berada di bwh tempurung.
Harap maaf jika ada kesalahan.
Sekian.

p/s: Tajuk memang disengajakan. Tiada typo di situ.

Saturday 2 February 2013

Recently Status

Just a month after the new year
and I am busy with...
with?
I stop playing computer in 3 weeks (end on last week).
And I don't know what to do after turned on the computer.
Wow.
What did I do before?
I didn't remember.

Recently,
I just couldn't stop flashing back the dream.
What, am I living in dreams?
So what?

I think I'm getting more and more careless about time.
Fall asleep after Asar and skipped Maghrib? Oh my God.
Seriously, busy and return late at home are serious.

Bii's sleeps maybe infect me too.
I accidentally closed my eyes with my face still straight
a.k.a teachers may see.

Saturday 5 January 2013

Those groups of fools

Dear Yah,
I'm happily telling you,
I'm not going to talk about you,
but truthfully, THEM, that two.

I hate betrayers.
Well, who likes them?
Even betrayers hate betrayers.
Then, you are just what they call
Tak Sedar Diri.

And actually,
why betrayers even exist?
The real question is
why are they betray anyone?
Seriously, give me answer!
Are they sadists or something?
Or just... fools?
Yeah, I choose that one.

In THAT TWO case,
or rather that one,
maybe because 
IT'S REALLY FUN TO FORGET FRIENDS.
Yeah, yeah,
congratulation!
LIKE I CARE~

But I'm *a bit* upset to the other one.
I thought I was the only ex-schoolmate who remembered her birthday last year.
Hell yeah, she said that to me.
And I was >///w///< YAY!
Yesterday, when I heard the news,
I'm not "WHAT? How could her! ;<>;"
because I'm well aware
NOT TO BELIEVE ANYONE.

Yeah.

Just so you, you two know,
you are just some fools
I don't even know.
But still,
YOU,
like I said,
if you still keep that as a secret from the other two,
that makes
THREE FOOLS.

Tuesday 1 January 2013

2012

It's new year.
2013~ lalala

And what happened at 2012?

- I met some new friends.
Not the 'new', I mean,
I was the only girl from my middle-school-class.
The other three were from the same class.
I was *a bit* left behind whenever they talk about their old class.

But I don't mind that.
It happened few times before that that one always, always brags about us leaving her behind
and we were really hate her bragging about that, annoying.
That one = That one
We = Me and my old-class gang that we still keep in touch with

- I met a stranger.
Okay, forget about that.

- I become friendlier,
that many of my friends keep saying
"I never knew I will be closer to you,"
and
"I never knew you're this type of person,"
No, I'm not upset or anything.
In fact, I'm happy.
Well, I AM friendly LOL

- CLASSSSSSS!
Our class is
super,
super,
super
special!
You can say we were so quiet,
that some of the teachers said
"We can only hear the sound of the fan,"
But then,
in the class,
there were 4 weird girls a.k.a
The Four Heroes(weens, actually) (kekeke),
there were some weird boys
which were suddenly made weird sounds like
"Eeeeekk!"
and
"Yeaaaahhh~" (I followed this sound unconsciously)
And there were also some teachers (actually, one) made some new vocab
like
"steng"
and
"10 rius" LOL

Okay, seems like 'Class' is what so special in 2012.

- I *finally* became a senior (?)
because of my lil sis,
and because I became committee member of some school programs

Umm...
Umm...
Maybe that's all.
Just forget about studies, hobbies or whatever I didn't mention.
Just forget.
Lalala

And here 2013,
I should get ready for studies and SPM (ugh)
and my duties,
like...
nevermind, until it will officially announce, you'll know.
I should...
should...
SOBS
say goodbye to Maple, MMORPG, anime, manga and...
my own comics T^T
I think manga and comics will stay with me for awhile
kekeke.

So...
maybe that's all.
I don't plan to post about new year, actually.
It was just.... I don't have idea when I saw my friends're updating their blogs.
I did think some, but when I looked at this blank space of new post
my brain got blank o_o

And also,
why am I posting English posts,
like I was SOOOOO good in English (blehhh!)
I don't know.
Like I said,
it's my habit to confess in English (not THAT confess~)
but then, my English Lang. papers are.... horrible T^T why oh why, teach~

Whatever if my English is so.... you couldn't get me,
as long I can confess (again, not THAT... lol)
Over and....
Oopsy, Hina~

See ya.