Assobru minal Iman.

Here's what I think.

This thing is not something brings pleasure,
but feud.
Everything will go wrong if you cannot be patient.
It is all about patient.

I know all this.
I'm the only one who's here.
Plus I like to observe people's habit patterns.

The Person A:
- They are someone who cannot, seriously, cannot keep quiet.
Even if it's not the secret they were telling,
it will be something almost like that.
Like, if they suddenly propose on some issue,
it will be something, either what they were thinking or is happening.
- And they also someone who will not give in, never,
even if they have not much vocabulary on some words,
they will use something unrelated,
just to commence a war.
- They are also a person who thinks with their emotion.
If they're angry at the moment, everyone who opposes them is their enemy.
Though I cant really be sure of the future, I know what it is, but I'm scared -_-"

The Person B:
- They are stubborn. What they decide is something that they will stick until the end.
Usually is reasonable, though is extreme.
How do I deal with this?
I give up. And that's what built me until now. Someone who doesnt put hopes. Someone who doesnt put efforts.
Though sometimes it helps them believe in me lol

So when these two persons, who know each other for long, came across,
a war begins.
One-sided though.
And who's the victim?
Me.
Why?
Because I am the one who is always here.
Now, who started all this?
Not me.
I'm just a victim,
who sometimes couldnt control herself from laughing inside when something that she predicted really happened.
That is my own problem though.
Whatever is happening, I could not change anything.
Why?
Obviously,
impatient.

*******************

The Person C:
- They are someone who, if it's in a class, they are the one who sits at the corner on the back.
- Because of that, they like to keep quiet.
No one knows what they think.
- Though they are a bit slow. They could not be sure of what will happen, (apparently it really happened to what was predicted).
They live to what is they planted.
If they think they are slow, stupid and dumb, that is what they believe they are.
So they didnt know how far of their dark characteristic is.
- They are most likely adaptable, regarding in heart. They can be hard as rock if they exposed to those 'rocks' too much. They can be fragile as glass if it's the time.
- They still dont know how dangerous the dark character is. Hopefully not a psycho-path.

"PATIENT IS EVERYTHING"

Rant - Nothing

Dont really have anything to say.
But feel like writing.

It's just funny that the fact that I'm the one who likes to talk, virtually,
anywhere.
And especially there,
where I'm the one who always be the last one.
Now,
I'm getting the awkward feeling to even talk there.
I'm getting awkward with everyone,
every single one of them.
Everyone's getting busy of their schedules,
while me, staying home doing nothing,
who wants to have someone to talk to.

Wait.
Why am I being like this?
Why am I feeling so lonely?
Do I have no friend?
Do I really have no one to talk to?
Am I lonely?
But I have siblings.
I have, actually, friends.
So, why?
I dont understand.

Why is everyone acting like they have so many friends?
Why is everyone acting like they are enjoying their life?
Why is everyone looks like they are happy, even though they never talk about their friends?
Why is everyone looks like they are living their happy life even though they didnt talk?
Why am I the one who feels like living alone when they didnt want to talk?
What am I?

They must think I'm bothersome,
I have nothing else to do but being noisy.
They must think I'm pain in the ass to deal with,
that's why they left me.

Okay, that hurts,
really hurts.
I should stop now.

4:2

1. Male
2. Female
3. Male
4. Male
5. Female
6. Female

This is a story about male privilege of the family,
from the perspective of The Fifth,
which she tried hard to blame everyone involved on how she became now.

Let's ignore The First,
because he's the first.
He lived his life to be the best first,
to be the role model of the six.
Plus their age gap was so big that they were almost in different generations.
Plus plus he has The Second as his assistant, Third and Forth as his next male heirs.

Fifth was the second female after a long period of time, ten years.
The Second grew up to be the only female (aside from The Commander).
Second was not really grateful, if not hate.
Even so, she was brought up to be the assistant of The Commander, thus did her job.

Let's combine The Third and Forth.
They had only two years age gap, thus so close to each other.
They are the type who hate everything that goes in their way.
They were Fifth's childhood friends,
though the age gap plus the second female after 10, she was considered annoying.
Thus while the boys grew up to be a fine teenagers, they started to stop playing with The Fifth,
and Fifth's childhood friends changed to Sixth and computer games.

While Fifth started to enjoy school life, the boys were in their teenage life.
The Third was supposed to pass the job to The Forth,
however The Forth did not care of The Fifth.
The three of them live their life on their own, 1:2.
Sixth was then joined Fifth, thus they live together.

At the same time, The First was in his career road,
should be the same to Second, but she was more to her social life.
Since Fifth was enough for girl talks, the two girls became close.
However, the age gap was too big.
The Second just could not chase away the thought that The Fifth was still a kid.
Of course, The Fifth does not know. She was a kid.
Unconsciously, there was a big wall between them because of that.

But with The Third and Forth, their age gaps were not really that big.
Second, Third and Forth became close because of their similar way of social life.

The Fifth chose a different path because of her own social life,
the Sixth followed her.
Third and Forth did not like the path,
they criticize a lot.
Both Fifth and Sixth walked their path silently on their own.

The six then seems almost like 4:2

***

The President was brought up from a family that considers female serves male.
Thus it is almost like The Commander serves The President.
Thus thus the female had an unbalanced role.

## Traditionally, female works at home, male searches for money.
Incidentally, nowadays, working female has become popular.
Here, male has to study, female has to do housework + study.

The First was an okay child, he helped a lot, despite being a non-female.
However, he had rarely to be home because of the age.

The Second suffered a really unbalanced role,
since she was the second and the first female, which the second came after 10 years.
## Traditionally, older people must consider younger people.
She grew up to be a really selfish person who demands justice and balance.

The Third and Forth live their life on their own.
They do their things silently.
And they are males.
Thus The Commander and The President seem to forgot them whenever it's time to help.

When The Second lives her life selfishly,
the suffer passed down to The Fifth, with Third and Forth being skipped.
and since The Sixth was the youngest.

The Fifth tried hard not to become like the others,
much more like The Second.
She bottled up her emotions to help even though she was going to explode.
Because once she explodes, she will be seen as The Second.

However, how much she tried,
the unbalance is injustice.
Even though she worked hard, The Second will not surrender to show that she worked harder (God knows the truth),
however, The Fifth likes to keep inside her emotions,
and so The Commander will conclude the war with The Fifth did not do much.

The Sixth hid herself to avoid the war.
The Third and Forth did not do anything at all.

Fifth came to an answer.
Those who hid are safer.
Those who are lazier are safer.
Those who are male are safer.

***

The first female,
who was brought up with more males around her,
plus two males below her,
plus the selfishness,
she loved The Third and Forth more.
She hated The Sixth for always got on her nerves.
Even if The Fifth kept her mouth shuts, she's a female.

But The Third and Forth are not female.

***

Thus, The Fifth grew up her androphobia more.

4:2

Frozen

The Story of Frozen

Once upon a time, there was this person who was doing nothing,
when her sisters asked her if she wants to join them to hang out somewhere.
Since she's somehow an introvert, she declined.
For all she knows, they went to watch Frozen,
which until about a year or something later she still didn't want to watch it.

***

The Story of Some Friends

There was this person who got ditched by her friends
when they went to somewhere without telling her,
and all that she knows, they formed a group to hang out,
of course, without and never with her.
It's not really like she hates to be with guys or something,
or maybe she did, but who knows?
but since it happened like this, she will hate guys,
especially the guys involved.

sister

Once upon a time,
my sister told me a story of her friend(s).
She befriended a good friend that had not-so-good behavior
trust me, she is (/was) wild but she's nice
so that friend got some enemies.
And since we're talking about girls here,
those enemies considered my sister an enemy too,
though she didn't give a sht to waste time for them.

So then, the (not so) little me had a slight thought:
"Why're those grown-ups acting like some children?
That was behavior of my elementary school years (not me) !"

***

Some years passed,
thus the so-called elementary school kids' behavior
is acting towards me.

I don't know where did I do wrong,
(Duh, obviously I did something wrong (refer to older posts). Self-denying, for sure)

We are strangers now.
I don't know what to talk to them.
The feelings of greeting strangers came when I wanted to talk to them.
Seems like they talk to me like I was a stranger to them too,
the politeness.

Ah, whatever.
I'm giving up on real world.

Contact Lens

You would never know what it feels like,
to have people abandon you,
leave you, saying nothing,
the feeling of hearing they were saying about going out
and the door shuts
without any word from you
"we're going out".

The sound of the door shuts still hits my ears,
the following silence,
and the feeling of betrayal.

To think that we used to hang out,
even if it's just 'inside'.
I appreciated those moments, still do.
How nice of you to help me; The Anti-Social.
The "Let's go".
Now?
The door shuts.
Silence.

That's the start of everything.
Nope, there are still befores.
But that's when I thought:
"I'll try to forgive and forget them, they are my friends"
Bullshit. Too naive.
I dont think I am their friend.

******

Some things happen too.
Still remember the
"If you have any problem and need someone to talk to, say yes"
"Yes"
I do feel appreciated for being a friend.
Not too long after that, though.
Still was going to forgive her,
it's no longer now.

I had to have positive thought that she's busy,
I do.
Not until some pictures of her with
someone who used to be in my circle of friends that then blocked me,
let's consider her as not my friend, nor I am to her.
Some times later, "You may walk away if you cant accept the fact that I cant handle my time management very well"
(Though I dont think that's a good reason to give)
(I'm positive enough she wont read this, nor someone recognize her)
Yeah, you do have time for her, but not even the same quote I used.
Then the tagged people,
I have already given up on you.

******

Gotta say, too,
just when got ditched by them,
tried to find help from a possible source to bring me out,
got ditched too.
Blue ticks.
Who says family is a place you can go back to?
(I know it can apply in some occasion)
Still good enough that my mood got brought back this night, though.

*****

Some people who I dont like the responses,
though still good enough to be a place for me to get up back.
Thought "Everyone needs at least a person to rely on",
bullshit.
Just thought to rely on them,
got the answers of
"Stay strong"
"At least you werent..."
"That's normal"
and blue ticks.

******

I dont think it's a good idea to say this,
because I just hold a new principle:
One who abandons friendship for men is the worst human alive
But I did got one help, the real response
of a man.
I totally felt relieved
that it cannot be expressed more.
Well that's that for that,
I dont want it goes any longer than that.

***********************************************


If friendships built by hanging-out,
it's time for me to say goodbye.

Goodbye.

I was too naive.
Or maybe am still.

I thought those who wear familiar would be the same.
I thought those who I considered allies would be the same.
They are not.

It's all started there.
When she ended her relationship.
She became wild, almost.
No one to control her anymore,
no one to make her feels bind anymore.
She socialized herself with more friends.

***
She found herself someone who cares for her.
She found herself someone who will take her anywhere.
She tried to keep him secret,
except that he's a transporter.

***
She thinks she can follow her close friend.
She trusts her close friend.
She thinks her close friend is an angel.

***
They hanged out.
They talked.
I never know about it.
All I knew was when she exposed,
"She got someone."
When I was "What?"
"Oh never mind."
Thanks, there I knew I missed something.

***
They went out.
Of course, with guys, the only thing I hate.

Thought she went home first, she wont join.
Of course, I was too naive.
How would I expect that much when I'm such an introvert and antisocial?

Of course, I would never know about that if I dont have Instagram.

***
She had something going on so she didn't come back.
Three became two in a day.
She didn't say anything, nothing.

She came back.
She never told from the start.

And then,
"You didnt know? She didnt tell you?"
What, even you skipped A, now you're telling me that?

They talked like they own the world.
Of course, I was a stranger.

***
"We want to go outside, wanna join?"
"Nah"
"Why?"
"If I say it you wouldnt want to hear."

So there, they go.
I'm glad she invited me, though,
the most grateful.
And I was left alone.

Despite being 19-20, they got back to dormitory at 10.

Were gonna have some time to hang out for her home-made,
so I went,
because if I dont, I dont know how much further would these wounds go.

Passed the "angel" friend with her their friend,
their hang out friend,
a girlfriend of one of the guys (I think).

Arrived.
Thank God there were other friends.

They,
sat on other table.
Spent their remaining times with the guys.
Lame.

Me,
gather with the other friends and joke around.
Talk about introverts.
That was fun.

We left once the owner started to close the place.
I was left in the dark for a certain someone told me to take my things myself.
She didnt look back.
God, how great my friend is.

They went to other side,
despite being some people who share with me the same place to sleep,
didnt tell me anything.
Maybe they forgot to.
Just joking.

***
Chuckles, chuckles.

I thought I should mix in,
after all the injuries.
Damn wrong.

I was just asking about the money for the things I ordered.
The one I wasnt talking to:
Dont even look at me,
despite being one of my friends.

And I tried again.
Well, just to make sure I didnt miss anything about school.
"What are you doing?"
That one,
- you see, I can read, okay -
seems uncomfortable to answer.
Well, the other one laughed, awkwardly, duh.
"Something."

I was really too much of a naive.
They were settling their -whatever thing is- with the guys.

Chuckles, chuckles.

***
to be continued.

A poem? Or lyrics?

This is indescribable.

This one has long gone.

They got their own life already,

a life which exclude us, 

me as one long-time friend-

at least that's what they are to me.

They have their own love life,

which does not concern for me.

They have their close friends,

did not even have time for us.

So long, my friend.

This one has other friends.

I am just one tiny stone to them,

while the others are much bigger.

I am not someone worth for them to talk to about their problem.

I can't find myself to them.

I am just someone who should be closer to them-

literally.

Never mind, then.

This one has their own life.

I don't think they even want me to be there.

When I thought they talk to me,

that's just something worthless to them-

a garbage.

Nah.

I find it funny,

when I think who should I give to,

two.

This one only has negativity in their world.

That I am just someone in the past.

I am just one of the people in their negative world.

Aren't I the same?

Others?

I don't think they like to talk about problems.

We enjoy talking about fun things though,

that's enough,

maybe.

I don't really want to share to them.

Some others?

I'm stopping to include them into my "us".

They didn't even show themselves when it supposed to be the "us" time.

Farewell.

And just when I thought I'm starting to get closer,

"Their someone."

Okay, don't talk to me if I'm not worth enough for a secret or two.

But yes.

I'm just a sensitive person-

friend, to be precised.

I don't really want to blame them.

It is my fault, really.

"See, she's blaming herself!"

Says the person about me, concernly,

some long time ago.

The first line.

I do not know what I want.

This is what people call "ungrateful person".

Indeed.

But let's just make it a session.

A session so I be balanced.

To neutralize my craziness self.

Inner self.

The sound of the fan.

The wind.

The silence.

The darkness.

Reasons why I need a new one:

- it's old so everything needs high-maintenance.
- it's graphics resolution and such are in worst condition that I can do nothing except watch video (even so still worst) - and when I'm an art people [self-claim]
- speaker is in the worst condition.
- keyboard needs high-maintenance.
- other programs and software are unreadable.
- not to mention CD- i dont know what's the name is- place?
- of course, it's back bone.
- it's useless battery.

I'll be updating again later.

The Newest Issue

Yeah, another issue.

From told, - wait,.... commanded?... - to be a doctor,
then getting rejected for architecture and psychology;
blabbering about psychology, the rejection from EVERYONE, every piece of trash in the house,
when I got one but a weird one,
asked to go change because it will bring harm (just the uniform),
then I thought she was (/ they were) just thinking about the profession
(anyway I was thinking about studying my whole life),
and after all that,
I thought this, the current, might make them (/ her) happy for its future.

"ENGLISH GETTING YOU NOWHERE."

Thank you very much.
Now I dont really mind going to the end of Malaysia,
and a friend told what she knows about getting OUTSIDE,
and it will be a dream comes true,
InsyaAllah.

Goodbye.

triple I.C.E

(Sorry, the title is the mission of the place I'm studying at)

There was this time when our uncle and his family came to our house to fix our dad's laptop
(though I think all the time they were talking non-stop).

I still hate and hurt.

That brat, I dont know what was her problem (seriously I thought I was going to kill her),
went missing once they came.
Her reason?
She still hasnt bath.
And whenever I checked on her, she still hasnt bath and whatever she was doing on her bed (actually playing her phone. I seriously wish*ing* someone to take it).
And until our guests went back, she still hasnt.
Then asked, "Did they went home?"
"Why do you even care when you never even think to see nor greet them?"

Of course, I was the only one doing all the things (sometimes mom came).
I really was in my bad mood the whole time,
I was so sorry to our aunt.

And one more?
She didnt even know the guests have arrived.
What did she do?
Sleeping (not) beauty.

So I (was told to) make them drinks.
And was told to make them cold.
So I used the ice cubes.

The ice cubes were conquered by her (because she was the only one frequently uses them).
So somehow or not, she is in-charge to refill it.
And then when the guests went back home, of course, she didnt even see them,
"Who the hell took the ice cubes and didnt refill them back?!"
I was seriously mad.
"Who asked you to sleep all day long and never think to see the guests?" (of course I'm a calm person)
"Well, what ever because anyone who takes them should refill them"
"Well what ever because you didnt know what happened because you were sleeping."
And of course, I'm not a person who likes to argue, unlike her
so whatever she was saying,
yeah,
what ever >_>

I'm mad.
and I'm hurt,
even though it is a story from (not long but) long time ago,
that no one even remember anymore.
But never mind, I'm too used to be forgotten.

What's with the people around me?
Acting so uncivilized.

CAUTION: New Labels

It might be my lifetime scar.
The result.

I dont really care about it.
Yeah, again, it's not really bad, I think,
because I expected it would be worse.

Then, ...
my brother contacted me,
asking was I okay.
Somehow I did irritate.
He doesnt even care how was I while walking 10m far in front,
never even care what I do,
and why are you asking now?
When I DONT EVEN FEELING NOT OKAY

So then he asked what would I want to continue.
I answered him, the 'thing' that was in my mind ever since my 14th.
What did he said then?
Something like "I dont think it's good for you."
And then he (+ other he) said to my parents "Most of THE people arent good. She could be like them."
Again, why do you even care??

And then,
she got involved.
Well, she is since a year before the result.
"That's not one course people want."
"You wouldnt go far with that."
"In our country it isnt good."
She was so happy that I got Science,
but not Nursing.
She persuaded me to change (even though I never planned to stay in Science).
And I changed.

Same thing happened.

Then again,
he (not the brother(s) )...
I dont remember having any situation,
but
*SORRY FOR HAVING THE TALENT TO READ PEOPLE*
I know he was just the same,
insincere whenever we talked about 'it'.

And there are others too.

I had my 4-years dream crushed.
I fed up having a dream no one ever approve.
I am emotionless whenever 'it' is mentioned in this topic.
Yeah, it is.
The Pagoh.
"Why dont you change to 'it' "
&%$#@&@$#%&$%@&#&

And there's this freaking grumpy kid.

"So somehow or not you had to and still have to accept that 

you have a friend who live the way her parents told to."

why did I do that:

I did think to just go myself,
it's not like I'm a coward (well, maybe yeah)
but I think I can picture what is gonna happen if I go,
based on experience.

So I did ditched him.
It's just a simple matter
but the consequence might not be simple,
but if I did the opposite,
which is pretend it didnt happened,
because it is him we're talking about,
he might thinks I'm on his side.
I'm not really on her side, (might be just on MY side),
but she knew because she was there, and he wasnt.
Btw, I do mad because he ditched me first
(and it was after several people ditched me so many times in some days ago).

No real explanation.
I'm not going to have any sides,
I know both sides are the same.
I'm on my own side.

Furthermore, since I'm inherited by you,
so I.... -
I'm not sure this is the right thing to say,
but, at least, right this time,
- .... hate you.

#2 Theory

Even though you've told them once about your relationships before (friends, whatsoever), how did they happened,
they did the same like the people before.

Means:
1) they never care to have the relationship with you.
2) never pay attention.

Memories

Let's flash back every upsetting memories.
Let's be straight forward, no one's reading anyway.

HH
1)
H: "do you read Zint's?"
me: "You read too?" *excited* "Which do you read?"
H: "I read blah blah blah..."
me: "Ohhh I read that too! Did you read USER?"
H: "Which one?"
me: "that blah blah blah..."
H: "Oh I didnt"
me: "oh I can bring them if you want"

What a wrong step.
My fault to bring them, especially the timing.
She didnt completely read them.
How disappointing.

2)
N: "H said she want to join us"
me: "well I dont really care but I warn you, you might not be able to catch us"
****
Since all of us have our characters, I thought I shudnt left her,
me: "H, blah blah Myou blah, do you wanna join?"
blah blah blah
H: "so my name is HH? yay~"

False.
She didnt even remember her own name.

3)
me: "How do you want your character be like?"
H: "like this, like that..."
Months later, ...
me: "I think I wanna change our characters a bit. H, do you like it to be orange?"
H: "I'm all good"

I dont think she even remember what the character looked like before.

HN
1)
me: "I was thinking to make us boys"
me: "N (character) will be a playboy + pervert (lol)"
****
T: "N (character) is a pervert afterall~"
***
N: "I'm N (character) afterall~"

I was feeling good, that time.
She never mentioned anything until now, right this time.

2)
There are many things randomly issued by her, half-heartedly.
No, I think quarter.

UN
1)
N forgot her own character name.
She did forgot other characters, but oh well, why do I have to expect fans?

But she caught up on most things.

TY
1)
Y: "Y (character) is cool~"

2)
Other things are okay, I guess,
because we had many things in common.
Except I dont really have much responds about mine,
mostly about hers.
But, again, oh well, why do I have to expect fans?

ST
1)
She didnt remember her own pair,
always confused between pair, her own character and gender-bent one.
But oh well, why do I have to expect fans?

2)
Speak of half-hearted.
Unless is mentioned, you will never heard from her.

SH
1)
If to be compared with others,
might be the best.
Always gave me ideas of hers so sudden.
She's my senpai/sensei afterall, what'd you expect?

Except
2)
She has her schedule.
I cant blame her.

FF
1)
Never had shown interest to any of my art.
Dont know if she kept inside
but nope, not for Myou.
She's just a copycat afterall.

NS
1)
Faker.
Liar.
Saying things like she likes too (or at least interested to),
asking "What else do you have?"
Next thing you know,
she didnt even remember I had ever recommend her.

2)
Over-react.
Knows, like, two or three,
and talking like she knows everything.
I dont actually mind if you just say you dont know.

3)
Yeah, liar.
Saying interested to,
when I started talking, like, Kanou,
until now never remembered.

NS oops same initials
1)
Speak of half-hearted, too.
S: "Eh~ You did this? Do me too~"

Never asked again.

2)
Tried to join me,
but you cant force yourself into things you cant take.
I can see your insincerity.
I never forced you to join, btw.

n-s why are they having same initials
1)
Also tried to join,
but just couldnt catch up.
Simply gave up but dont worry, I didnt mind.
At least you tried,
tried to give up.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It's not like I blame them.
No, that's a lie.
I do.
I dont mind being alone.
It is a thing that uncommon, so I dont mind.
I just hate half-hearted, insincere.
You dont like, just say it.
You dont have to pretend.
I dont need that.
But dont also give me weird look.
What, you think we arent human because we like uncommon things?

Anyway,
now that I've take it out,
I am officially not trusting anyone anymore.

The path I walk is always empty after all.

#1 Theory

Guess I'll start writing my theories based on the collections of my results on stalking people's behavior.

************************************************

People who never talk about their...
- friends
- family
- any ones in their social life

... they never care about it (above).

It's not like they dont have.
In fact, people who dont have are the ones who talk about it (above).

da da da pa

I thought it was done after last sem,
until the news of that damn Pagoh,
it happened again.
Not that I feel like not going there,
for some months now, I think I'm getting better,
but then the issue arose again.

Sigh...

and there's these people which, one was the cause but when I think about it again there are many

I just am gonna write them...

...'cause Twitter wont allow me,
plus, I dont want them, her, to know my current feeling.

I've got the idea since long ago.
I never think I can read people,
never think I'm that sensitive to know what they're talking about,
so when she twitted those, I just joked around,
if I got it right then good, if not then they're just jokes.
But guess she lied,
I just knew.

I even gave her hint,
"I'd be really hate it if anyone I recognize as the ones I close with
do not tell me about 'that'. "

In class, I saw more clues that made my guess was right.
While I was thinking on cursing her,
she told us.

Then, I've thought them in the whole class.

I hate her.
She's not my friend.

aww I didnt know I'm so sensitive about these.

***

I know,

I know that she didnt tell anyone (maybe),

she even said she told us because it was US.

But whenever I saw anything like

"friends for years"

she was one of them.

and yet, ...

***

Plus, we always talked about this thing,

even joking around,

like, I didnt talk to anyone else that much,

and yet, ...

***

I was in the mood of thinking that I might never be the one to anyone,

or at least on VIP seat.

She did some things with *her*,

even though we always talk about *her* behind *her* back.

Such betrayer, and yet, ...

Maybe it was because of 'me'.

Well, I dont really like that kind of thing,

but such betrayer, and yet, ...

Such unrequited.

***

and she lied.

Whatever the reasons are,

she lied.

I'm not going,

and I might reconsider of going to your ... or not.

Bye-bye

Whaaa?

What's with that?
You're making me look stupid by not saying anything to me,
then I'm embarrassing myself in front of everyone!
But then, even if you say anything, you still are making me look stupid.
Because I am.

***************************************************************

If her weakness is her sleep,
and she said she has used many types of cure,
then I said these and those...

Then, I say,
I'm not the type who can let out everything that easy,
it came to be a habit of mine from some past incidents.
And I used to (and still) have this habit to forget them by enjoying, laughing, having fun for the day.
But what if,
many types of cure I used and cant be that useful anymore,
what will I do?

Bahaya.

funny thing

If some of my friends say they dont want marry because they want to enjoy the world first (in good ways),
I say I want to marry because I want to enjoy the world.
Easy,
because we're from different family background.
They have money (not that I say I dont but..)
and they can go everywhere as long they ask their parents.
While me,
it has become a lazy thing to ask.

End.