Partly I was the one who incited.
But bcs it was incitation I guess they wouldn't think so.
They would think it's all theirs.
Which doesnt make me to have to think about what I did.
But the funny part is
I wasn't supposed to know it.
I told one person A that they should do something.
Just bcs that person B was getting on my nerves for their endless perverted brain.
I thought it was just that.
I forgot the other case.
And that the case was more personal than the one I was thinking.
The drama went to the point the person C threw a drink or something.
And person D went out of the way to prepare a weapon.
It didnt get into a conclusion because person B was a very thicked skin,
but it finished to the point person B disappeared probably because too ashamed,
although they still appeared to some of us once in awhile at the time.
Which thats what gotten me realized.
How unimportant I was.
About 2 years later I got into contact with person B.
Somehow the conversation went to that because I still hated how their brain worked.
They still had the victim mentality.
That somehow their brain reframed it to how everyone made them the bad guy when they did nothing wrong...
in the relationship.
"Ah so you were thinking it was all about the relationship??"
was what I initially thought.
How I was so frustrated bcs they didn't get what I was trying to talk, which was about their perverted brain.
But then I realized,
no, what if the whole discussion 2 years ago was really about the relationship...?
And the issue I was getting forever was just a side thing just to make person B more guilty.
Considering C and D were also having the neverending drama between them behind everyone's back.
And that somehow B was the person who saw everything.
And then I recalled the image of everyone,
whether or not they were involved.
How this and that persons have been backing up B.
More than "I dont want to get involved", more like "whyre you getting so worked up over this?"
All these drama and everyone acted up like there was nothing.
Did they not know? Or have they been knowing but pretended like nothing ever happened?
How everything was superficial.
What more with person A who have been knowing most of me just left for another person,
I mean I know I was the one who kept myself,
but I don't want to gatekeep myself anymore.
And then right about the time I finished everything,
I learned of another drama.
I never knew of these drama,
I learned from person A too.
Even so, even if I try to treasure how they make myself feel treasured,
I guess in the end you cant turn back time.
In the end it's all superficial.
