Contact Lens

You would never know what it feels like,
to have people abandon you,
leave you, saying nothing,
the feeling of hearing they were saying about going out
and the door shuts
without any word from you
"we're going out".

The sound of the door shuts still hits my ears,
the following silence,
and the feeling of betrayal.

To think that we used to hang out,
even if it's just 'inside'.
I appreciated those moments, still do.
How nice of you to help me; The Anti-Social.
The "Let's go".
Now?
The door shuts.
Silence.

That's the start of everything.
Nope, there are still befores.
But that's when I thought:
"I'll try to forgive and forget them, they are my friends"
Bullshit. Too naive.
I dont think I am their friend.

******

Some things happen too.
Still remember the
"If you have any problem and need someone to talk to, say yes"
"Yes"
I do feel appreciated for being a friend.
Not too long after that, though.
Still was going to forgive her,
it's no longer now.

I had to have positive thought that she's busy,
I do.
Not until some pictures of her with
someone who used to be in my circle of friends that then blocked me,
let's consider her as not my friend, nor I am to her.
Some times later, "You may walk away if you cant accept the fact that I cant handle my time management very well"
(Though I dont think that's a good reason to give)
(I'm positive enough she wont read this, nor someone recognize her)
Yeah, you do have time for her, but not even the same quote I used.
Then the tagged people,
I have already given up on you.

******

Gotta say, too,
just when got ditched by them,
tried to find help from a possible source to bring me out,
got ditched too.
Blue ticks.
Who says family is a place you can go back to?
(I know it can apply in some occasion)
Still good enough that my mood got brought back this night, though.

*****

Some people who I dont like the responses,
though still good enough to be a place for me to get up back.
Thought "Everyone needs at least a person to rely on",
bullshit.
Just thought to rely on them,
got the answers of
"Stay strong"
"At least you werent..."
"That's normal"
and blue ticks.

******

I dont think it's a good idea to say this,
because I just hold a new principle:
One who abandons friendship for men is the worst human alive
But I did got one help, the real response
of a man.
I totally felt relieved
that it cannot be expressed more.
Well that's that for that,
I dont want it goes any longer than that.

***********************************************


If friendships built by hanging-out,
it's time for me to say goodbye.