Entry

It's been awhile.

But today was internally hard and I've been thinking about this for so long so might as well just reveal it.

I'm fifth out of six and since three years ago I've seen four cases in total.

Honestly I've never seen them as my family other than my sister,

saying "my brother" is just a figure of speech to label our blood.

And ever since they legally got out of the house I tried to wear the new glasses of "family",

to see which part is it normal to view them as family.

But no.

The only part is probably the "responsibility" that THEY thought they fulfilled which is when coming (going) back home.

But no they dont actually fulfilled that.

The promise they made before leaving to come back every two weeks were just a fake promise.

The phrase "let me know when you need anything" is just a phrase.

What's with the going somewhere together among them without telling our parents.

What's with being annoyed when our parents found out about it.

Why are you acting like a teenager?

Why is it so hard to just tell them you're going to meet each other?

Rather than telling lies that you are sick whatsoever that's why you couldnt go back home?

It's not about me.

I don't have even an ounce of intention of wanting them to help me with my life.

It's been that way since we were kids.

They have no part in my growing up,

especially when I was in my sensitive phase as a teenager.

I still hold it in me when you walked 2 meters away from me when we walked home.

We had one year being at the school together but it never feels that way.

If I have to label it it feels like they are other people's cousins to me.

We are family in name but I talk to them like when I'm being friendly to strangers.

I don't give a fuck about them.

The problem is about our parents.

Why do you treat them this way?

Why do you lie to them just for you to go somewhere?

It's not as if they ask you to bring them with you.

Mother even said, "I'm more disappointed because he lied to me. I don't mind if they tell me or not, because I know how it feels like,"

You, the sons who were brought up differently than us daughters.

You who never noticed how annoying it is when you come to the house because you have never worked in the kitchen until you got married, or maybe now still.

You who are being treated differently than our sister who got criticised because she has a different family, different house now, when she's not the only one in this case.

You who are still being treated affectionately even after getting caught lying to them.

And now you're doing it again.

Pretending to be sick, not replying, whatsoever

when both of the parents kept asking and wondering whether you will come or not.

I hate them.

I really do.